Mock Draft: Picks 1-32 (and bonus pick)

I have no life, so I made a mock draft of my own.

1. St. Louis Rams: Sam Bradford, QB, Oklahoma- Bradford is actually an official member of Cherokee Nation. That's right, the #1 overall pick is a Native American whose Cherokee name may actually translate to Wounded Shoulder.

2. Detroit Lions: Ndamukong Suh, DT, Nebraska- This guy is absurdly good. Probably the best overall prospect in the draft, Suh dominated last season at Nebraska, including 4 sacks in the Big 12 championship game. Also has the coolest name in the draft.

3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Gerald McCoy, DT, Oklahoma- McCoy may be the second best DT prospect this year but he would probably be #1 in scouts' eyes in many other years. Surely an impact player for years to come.

4. Washington Redskins: Russell Okung, Oklahoma State- The Skins' offensive line is awful. Okung is a solid upgrade over essentially everyone on the O-Line right now in Washington; Trent Williams is also a solid pick for the zone-blocking scheme the team employs.

5. Kansas City Chiefs: Bryan Bulaga, OL, Iowa- Supposedly, Chiefs boss Scott Pioli and Iowa coach Kirk Ferentz are tight. Will this lead to KC drafting Bulaga? Considering the need for a tackle and Bulaga's skill, probably.

6. Seattle Seahawks: Trent Williams, OL, Oklahoma- The third Oklahoma Sooner to come off the board already. Williams is a great addition for Pete Carroll's Seahawks. It warrants mentioning that I think Carroll will struggle as head coach in Seattle. Just saying.

7. Cleveland Browns: Eric Berry, S, Tennessee- With Suh, one of the best draft prospects in years. Head and shoulders above the rest of this year's safety crop, he was picked apart by scouts at the Combine this February. Make that "tried to be picked apart"; there's nothing wrong with his game or measurements at all.

8. Oakland Raiders: Anthony Davis, OT, Rutgers- You never really know what Al Davis will do with an Oakland draft pick. Davis makes the most sense, but don't count out drafting Combine star Bruce Campbell or California native Jimmy Clausen. Because JaMarcus Russell needs to not play in the NFL anymore.

9. Buffalo Bills: Jimmy Clausen, QB, Notre Dame- Clausen, the golden boy. Blessed with one of the best arms draft scouts have ever seen, Jimbo is an interesting case. He clearly has Top 10 potential but may slip all the way into the 20's if the guys in Cleveland and Buffalo suffer from retardation and pass up on him. The Bills need a QB, though.

10. Jacksonville Jaguars: Derrick Morgan, DE, Georgia Tech- The Jaguars desparately need a guy to help out the pass rush; the team had 14 sacks last year. Morgan is one of the more solid, safe picks at DE. He flourished in his team's bowl game and Combine.

11. Denver Broncos: Rolando McClain, LB, Alabama- Rolando (sweet name) is the best linebacker prospect in this year's draft. He is on the top of many teams' draft lists and would probably start from Day 1 in Denver; he's that good. Also earns bonus points for wearing an unusual number for a linebacker at Bama (25).

12. Miami Dolphins: Jason Pierre-Paul, DE, South Florida- This man is scary. At 6'6'', 260 pounds with great athleticism, JPP will supply Bill Parcells' Dolphins with relentless pass-rushing skills and energy. Also went to college not far from Miami; the local boy will make good.

13. San Francisco 49ers: C.J. Spiller, RB, Clemson- Arguably the most dynamic offensive player in the draft. Spiller has ridiculous speed, great hands, and also makes for a lofty returner. A good complement to the bruising Frank Gore, who continues to be overrated in every Madden game.

14. Seattle Seahawks: Dez Bryant, WR, Oklahoma State- Although Seattle would probably prefer Spiller, they get another playmaker in Bryant. Scouts say that Dez is a better prospect coming out of college than Michael Crabtree, who was rather beastly. It also warrants mentioning that Bryant's mother had him when she was 13 years old. 13 years old. That's 8th grade.

15. New York Giants: Sean Weatherspoon, LB, Missouri- Not the glamour pick Giants fans wanted to see, but it makes sense. The linebacking corps is decimated after the release of Antonio Pierce; Weatherspoon is a ferocious tackler.

16. Tennessee Titans: Joe Haden, CB, Florida- Tennessee really, REALLY needs another cornerback to line up opposite Cortland Finnegan. Haden is a Top 10 talent but slipped a bit because of "slow" 40-yard dash times at the Combine. If I ran a 4.5 40 like Haden, I would want to race everyone I met on the street.

17. San Francisco 49ers: Mike Iupati, OL, Idaho- The Niners may also look for Haden if he's available. Iupati supplies good versatility along the O-Line and patches up some holes SF has. Also, it bothers me that the state of Idaho has two solid college football programs. New York does not have a single one.

18. Pittsburgh Steelers: Maurkice Pouncey, OL, Florida- The drafting of linemen continues. Pouncey is an interior line guy (guard/center) but definitely warrants the high draft selection. The Steelers will try to look for high character guys because of the Ben Roethlisberger nonsense. The man has as many Super Bowl rings as rape accusations (two).

19. Atlanta Falcons: Brandon Graham, DE, Michigan- Graham had an impressive Senior Bowl and Combine, catapaulting his way up the draft rankings. Also, as a Michigan fan, he gets my full endorsement. (Even though Michigan football is awful right now.)

20. Houston Texans: Earl Thomas, S, Texas- Thomas is from Texas. The Houston Texans are located in Texas. The Texans need a safety. Can it be this easy?

21. Cincinnati Bengals: Jermaine Gresham, TE, Oklahoma- Just like Houston, Cincy can address a very glaring need by drafting Gresham. Injury problems aside, Gresham was the best tight end in college football for two years.

22. New England Patriots: Sergio Kindle, LB, Texas- Some people are saying Tim Tebow and Jermaine Gresham are legitimate picks here. I would agree more about Gresham... until one realizes the Patriots had a subpar pass rush last season. Kindle, who I have seen as a nasty linebacker as early as NCAA Football 2007 (yes, 2007), is a solid pick here.

23. Green Bay Packers: Kyle Wilson, CB, Boise State- The Packers' pass defense is atrocious with the exception of Charles Woodson. Wilson will supplement the D with his playing style. I don't know what else to write about a small cornerback from Boise State.

24. Philadelphia Eagles: Everson Griffen, DE, USC- With a name that sounds like a heavyweight boxer, Griffen is a great fit for Andy Reid's crew. Reid's tendency to draft big men in the first round will definitely come into play with this pick. A lot of different options on both sides of the trenches here...

25. Baltimore Ravens: Devin McCourty, CB, Rutgers- I didn't know Rutgers still had a football team. But seriously, the Ravens need a CB badly and after Ray Rice's success, will again look to reach into the atomic wasteland of New Jersey to pick McCourty.

26. Arizona Cardinals: Charles Brown, OT, USC- Despite the fact that all of the elite O-Line guy will have been taken by now, Arizona still needs help up front. Brown is a raw prospect who will provide depth on the line.

27. Dallas Cowboys: Taylor Mays, S, USC- Either Mays or wide receiver Demaryius Thomas would be a great pick here. Mays wins out because of his absurd size (6'3'', 230) and speed. He was "unofficially" clocked at 4.24 at the Combine, which would have tied Chris Johnson for fastest ever, but it was taken "all the way down" to 4.43. That's still a fast dude.

28. San Diego Chargers: Ryan Mathews, RB, Fresno State- This is definitely the best possible pick at this juncture of the first round for San Diego. I'm not really sure if Mathews excels in one area, but he does appear to be a workhorse who's physically tough. He would be an effective complement to Pocket Darren Sproles.

29. New York Jets: Jared Odrick, DL, Penn State- The Jets essentially addressed all their needs before Draft Day, which is pretty impressive. The one thing they can look for is depth along the D-Line, as the injury-prone Kris Jenkins and the unimpressive Mike Devito need backups. Odrick is an impressive player. That's really all I can say about him. I'm just amazed at how the Jets got ultimate baby-daddy Antonio Cromartie and Santonio Holmes for extremely low draft picks...

30. Minnesota Vikings: Tim Tebow, QB, Florida- Yeah, I went there. The Vikings need a cornerback but will probably use all of their time on the clock with this pick because of the many options available. I'll keep the Tebow analysis to one sentence (for now): Although he will need an extra year or two to develop as an NFL quarterback, Tebow is a versatile player and a great investment for a team who needs high character, leadership, and marketability.

31. Indianapolis Colts: Bruce Campbell, OL, Maryland- The Colts haven't really drafted marquee playmakers in the last several years in the first round, and this year should be no different. Campbell is an intriguing prospect though; with an excellent Combine, he shot up scouts' rankings and could actually be drafted significantly higher if he's lucky. Never discount the Raiders to draft a guy like Campbell, but for Indy, either he or Jerry Hughes (pass-rusher) would be good fits.

32. New Orleans Saints: Jerry Hughes, DE, T.C.U.- The defending champs don't really have immediate needs. However, Hughes can play as a DE/OLB hybrid and would give New Orleans depth on the defensive end of the ball.

(BONUS PICK) 48. Carolina Panthers: Terrence Cody, DT, Alabama- I know, the bonus wasn't that exciting. But they're my favorite team, cut me some slack. The Panthers' first pick doesn't come until #48, so they really need to pick up a big name if there's one still on the board. Cody is a mountain of a man and had several clutch sacks and blocked field goals for the Crimson Tide. Considering Carolina doesn't have much at D-Tackle, they really have no excuse to pick up Cody if he's available.